Have you ever thought about your approach to self care ideas that are really about taking care of yourself? It’s not always about bubble baths and lounging poolside with your favorite margarita. Instead, we gathered a list of over 60 unique ways to self care that we know you’ll enjoy.
“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.” – Brienna Wiest
Self-care isn’t always about soaking in a tub surrounded by flower petals, or stress-buying yourself a new shirt when you feel depressed. No, sometimes it’s about taking care of yourself from the inside out. It’s about setting boundaries and making sure that your whole being is being taken care of.
In a way, this perception has fed a rather disappointing understanding of self-care, perpetuated by the idea that it’s all about lavishing oneself with undeserved attention. Instead of it being a mechanism by which we create our best selves, it’s viewed as a superficial, shallow activity that people lucky enough to have the time to indulge in. …And then it’s called ‘self-care’ just to make people feel better about it.
Listen, I love looking (and feeling!) beautiful, but that is not the most important part of taking care of yourself. It can be a part of it, sure. And as I am writing this, I want to focus on more substantial aspects of self-care. More than just the beautiful, Instagram-worthy side of it. The stuff that you can do to make yourself happier, healthier, and stronger, and not just more radiant.
Another Brienna West quote – “Self-care is building a life you don’t have to regularly escape from.” I hope this list helps you get started on that.
The list is broken down into 8 categories: body, mind, spiritual, relationships, professional, emotional, financial, and environmental, in no particular order.
The most important ingredient to self-care, to me anyway, is control. Cultivating your personal power. So take this list as suggestions and use what you can, and feel free to reject anything that isn’t a fit. You are the priority here, and I’ll consider my goal accomplished if some of these suggestions fit into your daily, weekly, and monthly routines, and if you see some benefit from them.
The point is never to elicit feelings of guilt or underachievement. Banish those thoughts, and read on!
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Table of Adventures
BODY
Taking care of your body while in your 20s is crucial for your overall health. As women, we tend to have a long laundry list of things we want to get done. Rather than overdoing it at the expense of your health, make it a priority to take care of yourself before you go out of your way to please others, or to show off on the ‘gram.
- Go for a jog (somewhere safe), whether on a trail, on the beach, or just around your neighborhood. Wherever just get out and get some fresh air.
- Take a midday nap – just 20-30 minutes – to revitalize your tired body and mind.
- Cook yourself a healthy meal.
- Get in that workout you’ve been putting off.
- Spend some alone time with yourself, you know what I’m saying?
- Do your hair. Throw in scalp massages to relax your scalp and make your eyes roll back.
- Drink water.
- Romanticize your shower routine by working in a nice, luxurious body scrub, or block out some time for a relaxing bath instead of the usual rinse-off.
- Check in with your vaginal health.
- Remember to do your monthly breast exams for any lumps and bumps.
MIND
It’s important to keep our minds sharp for all those great adventures we plan on going on. Your mind is a lot like your stomach in the way that ‘ingesting’ a load of good, intellectually stimulating information can help keep you mentally fit, while filling up on mental ‘junk food’ has the opposite effect. Whether you’re addicted to Facebook or Tik Tok, or anything in between, set the phone down for a moment and reinvest in your mental health.
- Read something that interests you. Stimulate your brain.
- Do something that centers you. This can overlap with taking care of your body because exercise is very grounding for a lot of people, but others get that same sense of peace and stability from cleaning, meditating, or from any number of things. If you’re not sure what will work for you, picture the calmest activity you can think of, then go give it a shot.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write down three things you are grateful for every day.
- Go for an ‘in the moment walk.’ This is also healthy, physically, but instead of trying to exercise, per se, slow down and listen to the sounds around you. Try to be present in the moment.
- Start a journal to record your thoughts and feelings.
- Look into therapy. There’s a stubborn social stigma about mental health and therapy, but if you’ve been through something difficult in your life, is talking it out with someone really the worst idea? Probably not.
- Set a daily intention for yourself. Make sure it’s something within your control. Then set about accomplishing it.
- Create or change your morning routine.
- Listen to a podcast. There are some great self-improvement podcasts, but you could also pick another topic. Steer towards something that helps you learn or grow as a person.
- Question your politics. The dreaded ‘p’ word! But for a second, put all those fights with your family over the dinner table aside. Shift from defense to asking questions mode. People have a tendency to get… entrenched, so pull yourself out of the trenches and read up a bit on your beliefs. What has your political favorite actually accomplished recently? Is there another side to the hot-buttoned issue you’re so passionate about?
- Evaluate your beliefs. For similar reasons as just above, think about your ethics and your religious convictions. Why are these convictions important to you? These ideals will get you through the worst of times, but you have to know what they mean to you in order for your faith to be resolute.
Remember, the point of evaluating yourself isn’t to reject the person you’ve been. If you look at your political leanings and come away feeling redoubled in your conviction to those ideals, that’s great! If you realize you’re not fully sold on something, however, that’s also great – the point is that periodically examining these core beliefs keeps you from getting stuck in a mind state that’s hard to then escape.
SPIRITUALLY
Spirituality takes many forms, from traditional religious practices, to deeply personal understandings that you might not share with anyone. There are a lot of religions out there and one size simply does not fit all; again, I’m not advocating you to give up your faith, but I can tell you, in my case, my faith sort of… changed.
I grew up in a Christian household and, over time and after various encounters with members of the church, I fell away from it. See, in my house, if you doubted your faith, the proposed solution was ‘pray harder,’ and that never really worked for me. I’m pretty much just ‘spiritual’ now, and that does work for me. The point is that having a personal understanding that rests well in your heart is a powerful source of comfort, and nowadays, with all the religions in the world accessible to you, there are plenty of answers out there for you to find.
So if you find yourself questioning your faith or feeling ‘stuck’ spiritually, maybe:
- Go to services. If you find yourself drifting away from your faith, maybe stop by your church, temple, mosque, etc. and see if that answers your questions for you.
- Meditate. Borrow a little something from the Eastern religions and spend some time analyzing your mind.
- Buy yourself flowers. Or go outside and pick some yourself. As important as understanding your place in this huge world, maybe bring your focus back to the present and enjoy something in the here and now.
- Give to charity. It doesn’t have to be money; you can donate your time. In fact, volunteering is a good way of putting your problems into context – helping out the less fortunate, and reminding yourself that there are people out there willing to help you, too.
RELATIONSHIPS
People are social creatures; we need each other. But as we get older, true friendships become rarer and rarer. Even family can drift apart. On the tragic side, death, divorce, and blow-out fights can fragment even strong groups, and even in less dire situations, you can find yourself drifting apart from your friends as they go out and get married, you start having kids, move away for work. Etc, etc.
I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, it’s just important to remember that this crucially important part of our lives exists on borrowed time, and we should treat it accordingly. I had a French teacher once tell me he only had one single friend, and he was content with that. So whether you want to make more friends, cultivate the relationships you already have so that they are stronger, or simply take stock, investing some time in understanding the people you surround yourself with is a good way to, ultimately, take care of yourself.
- Hang out with friends and catch up. Maybe grab coffee or tea someplace quiet where you can talk.
- Plan a dinner for two. If there’s a friend or special someone you haven’t seen in a while, or you just want an extra special chance to connect, plan a dinner for two. Where it’s romantic or entirely a friend-date, this will give you a chance to turn off your screens and appreciate each other’s presence and company.
- Play a game with your friends that help you get to know each other better. It could be as risque and straightforward as ‘never have I ever,’ or as strategic and cutthroat as Monopoly. A few rounds of that and you’ll know for sure if the relationship is built to last.
- Separate the healthy from the toxic. Relationships change with time and sitting down to consider whether the people in your life have a positive or negative effect on you. Do they make you better, or worse?
- Cut out the toxic. It can be really hard to say goodbye to someone you have known and loved for a long time, but if that person has become a source of negativity, you do owe it to yourself to reframe your relationship. You don’t need to completely cut them off: made that’s the right move, or maybe you just need to have an honest conversation with them, or you can simply choose to spend less time with them and more time with more positive people.
- Mend fences. This flip side of purging negativity from your life is inviting positivity. If you’ve grown apart from people, or if you had a silly fight or miscommunication, why not invest some emotional labor into repairing that relationship. You can, at least, move forward without that weight on your shoulders, and maybe you can even rediscover a source of positivity in your life.
- Get to know some new people. Go to a team trivia night and say you’re looking for a group. Check out a singles night, or a local chamber of commerce event. Obviously, you’re going to find different types of people at those different events, but the point is that people gather for all sorts of reasons, and there are a lot of events where, because you’re there, it’s actually not that strange to walk up to someone and say “Hi, my name is…” You might not find the love of your life at bar trivia (or you might!), but maybe you’ll take away a valuable new connection or two from a night out of your comfort zone.
PROFESSIONAL
Work can be stressful, there is no doubt about it. A lot of women simply aren’t treated with the same respect as men, and you may think that self-care is something that should be nestled safely outside business hours. I’ll assure you, it definitely has a place in your working life.
- Know when to take a break. I know that isn’t always easy, depending on your job, to resist the urge to skip that break, or to work through lunch, but you can reclaim your power a bit in this area. And when you choose to take your break, take it. If it’s your day off, don’t pick up the phone. Respect the time you have given to yourself.
- Delegate your workload. This can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but don’t try to take on every single project personally. If you have people working under you, allow them to work. If you have people working with you, allow them to share the burden. For my women striving for success on that corporate mountaintop, maybe this delegation comes at home – your partner can totally do some dishes and cook dinner a few nights a week. Let people help you.
- Focus on your own responsibilities. Don’t fall into that trap of doing other people’s job; make your own work, and your own advancement be the priority. And if you are in a position where you have to cover for people, keep a record of all the times you have to go above and beyond. That way, when the time comes to talk about a raise, you can prepare to negotiate a salary that pays what you are actually worth.
- Think about your next 5 years. Is your future at this job, or a new one? Are you retiring soon? Having kids? Think about what you want out of life, so that you can pursue it proactively and strive for success. Maybe that part-time MBA program is the ticket or a different position that would let you work remotely more – it’s all in your control, but the planning stage sets the stage for that future success.
- Update your resume. Even if you’re not looking, it’s always good to keep track of what you’ve accomplished professionally.
- Meal prep for work. It can be hard to balance work, healthy eating, and a budget all at the same time, at least not without planning. When you’re stressed at work, it’s tempting to go for the easiest option, whether it’s fairly cheap fast food, or less cheap healthier options. Make the easy option the awesome home-cooked goodness you have in the office fridge.
EMOTIONAL
There are days when you’re going to feel drained, enthused, happy, sad, or a hundred other emotions. Dealing with your emotions can be hard; some people literally go their entire lives without learning to process their feelings. They just bottle them up until all that stress burns them up from the inside. Here are just a few ideas for coping that don’t involve binge drinking or a quarterlife crisis.
- Cry. It’s a simple place to start, but a lot of people hold back tears, sometimes for weeks, months, or even years. That thing you still aren’t over? Find a private place and let yourself grieve.
- Dance. Sing, too. Laugh! Have fun! Make a time and space for you to experience joy and happiness without the anxiety of adult life interfering. Give yourself the room you need to smile.
- Make a mood playlist. Just like high school, right? LOL, these were great, and they still are! You can’t necessarily control when you’re going to have an absolutely crappy day, or when you’re going to get into a fight with your partner, but you can prep yourself with an emotional first aid kit in the form of music.
- Write a letter to your future self. Mail it, too! Or at least seal it and put it away, with “Don’t open until ___” written on the front. Give yourself some advice from the past.
- Be more conscious of talking down to yourself. The world can be a pretty full-contact place, and the people who want you to fail don’t need your help in wishing you ill. When you find yourself being self-critical, stop, breathe, and look at what the emotion underneath that negativity is.
- Write some affirmations. Part of many successful peoples’ morning routine is repeating positive affirmations into the mirror to help overcome their mental roadblocks. Maybe you need to tell yourself how much you love who you are in the morning.
- Lean on a friend. Sort of like number 16, talking your way through the emotions is sometimes the best way to get a handle on them and to cope with how they’re affecting you. You could always do this as part of a therapy session, but if it’s just a matter of getting something off your chest, you can also just lean on a patient friend who’ll lend you an ear for an hour while you offload.
- Pamper yourself. Treat yourself like the queen you are, with that long bubble bath or a night binge-watching New Girl reruns.
- Laughter is the best medicine. I know, we’re getting a little redundant now, but laughing releases serotonin, which is a natural mood booster. So watch some Tik Tok or Instagram shenanigans, or, if you’re feeling nostalgic, yet another ‘best of Vines’ video, and let loose. Go talk to your funniest friend, or go to a comedy club.
- Take a drive. Just wander for a while, checking out your area. This is great if the weather is cooperative, so you can roll the windows down, blast the music, and take in the sights. Maybe you’ll find somewhere cool, or maybe you’ll just have a stress-free afternoon. When you’ve had enough, simply GPS your way home.
- Practice saying no. If you struggle with people taking advantage of your kindness, take whatever small opportunities to stand your ground you can find to build up the habit. No, it isn’t just ‘okay’ that your food order was wrong; ask them (respectfully!) to fix it.
ENVIRONMENTAL
Your surroundings can really contribute to how you feel on a daily basis. If your apartment is cluttered and messy, you look around and it just feels… bad. It’s a weird, psychological thing, but it’s 100% true. So, since we understand that it works, even if we aren’t entirely sure how, we might as well use it to our advantage.
- Go on a cleaning spree. Start with whatever the biggest issue is – tackle it head-on! Set a timer for an hour or two, do as much as you can (you’ll be amazed how much you can get done in a single hour), and then see where you’re at. This is an easy way to feel more in control of your home and your life.
- Does it spark joy? Marie Kondo your life and donate or throw away items that have served their purpose in it. Cleaning out your closets or your basement of old things can also help your space feel more functional and organized, instead of feeling like a cluttered museum of your whole life.
- Do a tech detox. Relax, it’s only temporary. Literally, just, unplug everything. Then leave it unplugged for a couple of hours. If you don’t need it, you can even turn your phone off. Then, just for a day (or two, if you dig the vibe), live like the chickens do. When the sun goes down, go to bed. When the sun rises, get up.
- Purge your social media. Detoxing from social is already a thing, and I totally recommend that from time to time, but another option is just to ‘declutter’ your feeds and friends lists so that you mix up the type of posts you’re seeing. That person constantly filling your feed with relationship drama, then complaining about it? Gone. Your former classmate who wants you to sell diet pills now? Also gone.
- Open the windows. And the doors. Let some fresh air into your home and you’ll leave the whole place feeling (and smelling) cleaner and healthier.
- Go somewhere that suits the vibe you want to cultivate. Your ‘environment’ isn’t just your home; if you’re looking to boost your mood, go somewhere upbeat and happy. If you want to cultivate some academic thought waves, try a coffee shop in a nearby university town. If you’re feeling reflective and you want some peace, grab your tea to go and head to the beach in the off-season.
- Redecorate! Nothing changes up a room’s vibe quite like a fresh piece of art, so check out Pinterest, Etsy, or your local art gallery, and pick up something for your walls, or a new carpet for the floor. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have nice decorations; you can even DIY some awesome-looking stuff. It just depends on the look you’re going for, obviously, but any love and attention you invest in making a room better fit your personality will be well worth it.
- Get something green. A few plant friends bring literal life into any space, and if you don’t have any yet, I will gladly welcome you into the ranks of aspiring plant moms.
FINANCIAL
The financial decisions you make in your 20s are going to form the basis of your overall financial health going through the next chapter of your life… no pressure, right? Making financially sound decisions now will set you up for success, especially as you look forward and think about major decisions like buying a home and starting a family. If you were never taught how to handle money, however, it’s time to give yourself a crash course, before you find yourself climbing up a very expensive learning curve.
- Set a budget for the month. Make sure to include the costs of your subscriptions and any money you spend on entertainment.
- Check your accounts regularly. That way you can make sure you stick to the budget, and if there’s any fraud, you can catch it immediately.
- If you have student loans, or any other debt, make a spreadsheet to keep track of it. You’ll want to know how much you owe, the monthly payment, the interest rate, and when you’ll have paid it off if you keep making your current payments.
- Become more financially literate. Learn about mortgages, or annuities, or the stock market, so that, in the future, you can make better financial decisions.
- Create a will. There are two kinds: living wills are for if something happens to you and you can’t make decisions. Death wills are the type most people think of: if the unthinkable happens, where does your money go? Both are helpful since they let your family know what your wishes are.
- Set up an automatic savings plan. This could be through your work 401(k), or it could be through your bank; either way, follow the old advice: pay yourself first! Whatever you can put away every month, you’ll be building yourself a nice little nest egg for the future, or a rainy day fund for that month when your car gives up and dies.
CONCLUSION OF MANAGING AND CARING FOR THE SELF
Your 20s are an exploratory decade. Live it up and give yourself the freedom to constantly make mistakes. We were told that adults know all sorts of things, but the truth is, we’re all just trying to figure out life and, a lot of the time, we find ourselves in situations that are a little outside of our comfort zone.
Self-care isn’t about bath bombs and mani-pedis. It isn’t even about updating your resume and getting a therapist. It’s more than these individual things. Self-care is about caring enough about yourself to put in the work you need so that you can keep growing, keep exploring, and keep becoming the woman you are destined to be. Take care of yourself, gorgeous.