Your 30 Day Self Love Challenge: Be Kind to Yourself

It takes a lot to love yourself, but with this 30 day self love challenge you’ll be finding it easier to do every day.

I don’t know about you, but I have days where I feel like the world could really do without me saying much.

I also think that I’m not good enough and I shouldn’t be allowed to do a number of things because of my looks, my weight, the things I don’t own, or whatever other low-level excuse I can think of.

But I decided that enough was enough and that I was worthy of my own love and adoration. So I came up with my own little calendar and what I wanted to get out of each day to jump-start my self-love journey.

It was the start I needed (because 30 days simply isn’t enough, but it’s a habitual change so it works). And whenever I feel like I need something more I pick a day and use that for the foundation of my life.

Plus if there’s one thing we ought to love in life, it’s ourselves. 

Because as Maybelline says it, it must be true, “Maybe she’s born with it…” Of course, I hope these self-love exercises help you on the journey to being kind to yourself.

Difference Between Self Care and Self Love

I get it. I was once confused about this as well, however, self-care and self-love are different.

Self-care is more in line with taking care of yourself in the physical, mental, spiritual, and financial sense, whereas self-love is about showing yourself kindness. But overall, self-care is self-love.

You can check out 60+ Thoughtful Self Care Ideas if you’re looking for that instead.

Sometimes the large difference between self-care and self-love is if you feel they are worth your time and I’m here to tell ya: it is. The thoughts you may have gone through your mind mean nothing if you’re not willing to take this challenge head-on.

Self Love Activities (A How-To)

This challenge isn’t meant to be easy and at times it can be very time-consuming.

I would urge you to find time out of your day to really pour yourself into this challenge and to do each day to grow in the kindness you’re trying to show yourself.

Every day try to reflect on what you learned and how it brings you closer to loving yourself wholly. If you feel like a day hasn’t contributed to going forward, write that down, too. It’s important to understand how you feel every step of the way.

There are three phases – taking stock, habitual change, and putting things into action. My hope is that you follow these in order, however, if there are days when you simply have to move things around?

That’s OK.

I would advise you to keep everything within its own phase though and not to move them out of their own phase as each phase builds atop the other.

Plus, this is a challenge and as much as I love a challenge this isn’t about me, it’s all about you.

Once you’re done with the 30 days let me know how it went and what (if any) changes you made.

Phase One: Taking Stock

This challenge is done in three phases as they each have their own purpose. As I said, they all build on top of each other.

This phase pushes you to think through some things before heading to the next phase of creating changes in your habits.

Day 1: Go over your limiting beliefs.

If you’re curious about what limiting beliefs are they are things that you think about yourself that are holding you back from becoming who you really are and can be.

For example, one of my limiting beliefs is that I’m not intelligent enough. After going to university for over ten years I still haven’t finished and for me, there’s this strong belief that maybe I just don’t have the brains for it.

But upon closer examination, it’s my study habits, monetary obligations, and other outside factors that have kept me from completing my studies, not because I’m not smart enough. So, knowing that limiting belief I am able to work on it and push through to accomplish my dream of acquiring my degree.

So, write down a list of your own limiting beliefs. Try to be as thorough as possible and take as much time as you need to do this.

Day 2: Write down 10 things you are genuinely proud of yourself for knowing.

You may think there isn’t anything, but there’s at least one thing you take pride in. Whether it’s you’re a great artist or you know how to make a quiche or you can make a baby laugh on demand, you’ve got something. 

Write it down. Take five minutes to give yourself a pat on the back.

Day 3: Write down 5 things that you wish people knew about you that make you unique.

This is an expounder day as it allows you to continue telling the story of who you are and what makes you interesting. Don’t think too much into this, just write what comes to the top of your head. 

Ten minutes and you’re done.

Day 4: Choose positive affirmations that you want to foster in your life.

If you’re worried about your weight some affirmations can be:

“I believe I can lose weight.”

“I am easily avoiding excessive carbs.”

But of course, if you’re not then choose a strong part of your life you’re trying to change. Is it a career change? Are you trying to be more productive? Then create affirmations that align with those changes.

“I am worthy of the career success I desire.”

“My career is a journey, not a destination.”

“I am a person who gets things done.”

Keep your affirmations short and sweet and if you’re struggling take a look at these positive self-love affirmations for starters.

Day 5: Find inspiration to help you move in the direction you’re trying to go in.

Using examples from day four, if you’re looking to lose weight – what is the realistic body type that you’re aiming towards? Find healthy bodies that are in line with what your body can attain.

Trying to move careers? Do a quick Google search to find other career changers in your same position who made it work.

By allowing you to feed off the energy of someone else you can feed yourself and create better opportunities for success.

Day 6: Write yourself a love letter.

It’s so important to be the person in your life who gives you words of encouragement. If not you, then who?

Make your letter as long as you want it to be, but strive for at least one full page. Talk to yourself like you’re talking to someone who is in need of encouragement.

Day 7: Write down 3 things you want to improve about yourself.

Keepin’ it short and sweet today.

Doesn’t it always feel like we’re constantly wanting to fix something about ourselves and it feels like there’s so much that we give up before trying? We’re not doing that starting today.

By writing down three things you want to improve about yourself right now you can really focus on those particular aspects without feeling overwhelmed.

My three things are procrastinating less, taking better care of my skin, and reading more. What are yours?

Day 8: Forgive yourself.

Today’s going to be difficult, but please don’t skip this day. There’s a reason why you’re doing this challenge. Ask yourself: what are you holding over your head that you need to forgive yourself for right now at this moment? 

By acknowledging the mistake you’re trying to forgive yourself for you can learn how to love yourself on a cleaner slate.

Day 9: Accept yourself.

Yesterday was probably a hard day, but today maybe even harder.

What are some things that you have struggled to accept about yourself that you feel now aren’t things to punish yourself over? Write them down and put them in a prominent place where you can read them every once in a while to remind yourself of how amazing you truly are.

Day 10: Take full responsibility for your life.

Acknowledge that in order to get the most of these 30 days you’ll need to take responsibility for the actions you take. 

You’re going to be afraid to do a lot of things, maybe even during the next 20 days, but understanding that you can do everything in your power to overcome whatever comes your way is what will allow you to grow in this self-love that you’re searching for.

Phase Two: Habitual Change

This phase is about creating small changes in your life that you can sustain. The important thing to understand about changing a habit is that it is a process, it does not happen overnight. 

There’s a lot of determination involved and painful growth spurts but they can really be worthwhile if you give it all you’ve got.

Day 11: Talk to yourself about all the things you’re proud of getting through.

We all have an amazing story to tell when push comes to shove. Did you overcome addiction? Are you the mommy to gracious children? Do you keep your home clean and running?

Whatever it is, start talking to yourself in front of the mirror about what lights up your life right now.

Day 12: Say no to something today that doesn’t serve you.

Your mental health comes above all else and if there is something that is going to get in the way of it? Walk. Away.

Try to continue on this particular path for the rest of this phase, and into the next. Make sure you’re saying no to things that have no purpose in helping you get to where you want in life. Don’t waste your time.

Day 13: Start limiting your social media intake by half today.

Social media has an adverse effect on your mental health and your body image. Unhealthy exposure to ideal body types can lead people to want unhealthy body standards for themselves. BBL, anyone?

In an effort to give ourselves more attention and from overexposure to body images outside of our control, limiting your social media is a great place to start.

It’s an easy actionable change that can be implemented into habit changes. Set a timer on popular apps so you’re taking yourself seriously.

Day 14: For the next week, take a selfie where you’re smiling.

Yes. Smile.

I lost a tooth in November 2019 right before the pandemic and now I’m sitting pretty with braces in an effort to fix what happened after falling down a flight of stairs. I smile every day. It brings me a lot of joy.

There are a number of reasons but the main one is because I know that at the end of this my smile is going to be beautiful. Ugh, I can’t wait.

Over the course of the week, you may see how much more confident you feel about yourself and you may feel like continuing. 😀

Day 15: Incorporate 1 hour of alone time.

You need time to relax, rewind and reset. Giving yourself an hour to reflect on your day can help prepare you for the next day, give you a moment of reprieve from the kids, or anything else you need time away from.

This can include taking a bath, watching your favorite YouTubers, painting, any number of things. Give yourself the time and start implementing that change into your daily schedule so it sticks.

Day 16: Go for a walk.

I know for me it’s difficult to find the time to go for a walk. However, for my health, I’m trying to make it more of a habit rather than a chore. Give into rewarding yourself for taking that walk with a 10-minute break from doing anything.

Try to go on a walk three times a week and up the ante when you feel like you simply can’t live without a refreshing walk.

Day 17: Eat quietly without distractions.

Something is always playing in the background for me while I’m eating. Whether I’m watching Moana or watching Jackie Aina take me through a makeup tutorial, I am inundated with noise.

However, eating quietly actually helps you to focus on how you’re eating and gives you time to let your brain just relax. It’s a habit that I’ve been failing to succeed at but I know that I’ll get the hang of it eventually. So, start with one day and see where it goes.

Day 18: Go through a guided meditation.

If you’re new to meditation you’ll find that it’s hard to focus, however, over time you’ll grow increasingly better at drowning out the voices in your head.

Going through a guided meditation is a great way to start centering your body and mind.

Day 19: Create something for yourself today.

Whether that be repotting plants or creating a painting and doing a bullet journal spread, creating something for you allows your brain to settle and gives you time to breathe. This is one of the nicest kindnesses you could do for yourself.

Going forward try to implement a creation day once a week or in whatever interval works for you.

Day 20: Start letting go of toxic people in your life.

You have no time to allow negativity in your life but allowing toxic people to stay there. You not only are not being kind to yourself, but you are giving yourself this false idea that maybe one day this person will change.

But guess what? It’s not your place to change someone if their behavior has consistently made you feel uncomfortable in any way. This change can be difficult but when you are able to look at what you want in life and notice patterns, this will come easier.

By creating this habit to cull toxic people from your life you are putting yourself first and that’s important to your well-being.

Phase Three: Putting Things Into Action

Now it’s time for a little bit of fun. Now that we are starting to build habits it’s time to put a few things into motion. For the last ten days, we’re showing ourselves the kindness we deserve by nurturing relationships, hobbies, and other things in between.

If a day is hard to do – skip it – but I urge you to try some aspect of it. They’re not particularly difficult days, but some require a bit of … research.

Day 21: Research and decide to join a hobby club, sports club, etc.

I believe it’s really important to find the time to enjoy the things in your life to the fullest extent. It can be the stress relief that you need that helps you get through a bad day, week, even month. 

By putting your leisure at the forefront of your mind and while keeping yourself active in whatever you hold dear, you’re taking care of yourself and that’s a really great way to show yourself the love you deserve.

If you’re already part of something try suggesting a change that is beneficial to every one part of it.

Day 22: Interact with someone that you love.

It’s really important to nurture relationships.

Whether you decide to go for a coffee “date” or sit side-by-side in a library reading, be around someone you love, and get in those friend points.

Day 23: Buy (or designate a notebook) a journal and start journaling.

Journaling will help you to identify negative thoughts and amplify positive self-talk. 

I do not prescribe to toxic positivity, do not think that everything you write down has to be positive. Allow yourself the negative thinking to be written down as it can be really helpful down the line to understand where (and what triggers them) you can improve in your efforts to love yourself and give yourself grace.

Day 24: Accept compliments given to you today.

Dress nicely and parade that gorgeous body of yours out to lunch, to shop, wherever, and allow yourself to accept the compliments given to you. Don’t think about it. Say, “thank you” and keep it moving, babe!

It may be tough but you’ve got this.

Day 25: Do a genuine random act of kindness.

And don’t tell anyone you did it.

This may seem counter to showing kindness, but being humble and knowing that no one will ever know what you did is a rare form of kindness to yourself. 

I know, I know, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, but allowing yourself to give without being asked to do so (or acknowledgment) can honestly make you feel a whole lot better about the good you made in the world.

It’s your own little secret.

Day 26: Start a list about one thing you’re happy about today.

And continue doing it.

Every day you should add one thing that you’re proud of, or that made you smile, or something you did that made you happy. Did you get to talk to a long-lost friend? Or maybe you visited your parents?

Whatever it is – keep a memory of it.

Day 27: Indulge in a guilty pleasure.

That could be vegging out on the couch in your underwear or hiring a babysitter so you can take yourself out on a date.

Sometimes you just deserve to do what you want to do, so do it.

Day 28: Speak only positive words to and about yourself.

I know for me that this can be difficult. I’m a self-deprecating person (not that you’d ever notice) and I’m very good at putting myself down.

But today? Refrain. Talk highly of yourself. Praise your hair, the outfit you wore today, the food you made, and don’t let up. Pour positivity into yourself the same way you would to someone you loved dearly.

Day 29: Put on your favorite outfit.

This is one of my favorite things to do. 

I remember being back in university I walked on to campus wearing a pink tulle skirt (tutu) and an ivory colored corduroy-esque turtleneck crop top. My shoes? Brown strappy heels.

It was a little unsettling for two seconds and then I loved every single second of it the rest of the day. It made me feel on top of the world and so lovely.

Day 30: Reflect.

Take this time to write on how the last 30 days have panned out and what you wish to continue to do.

My hope is that your last 30 days have been filled with seeing the joy in showing yourself kindness and growth. You deserve all the love in the world.

Read More Self Care Articles:

How to Squeeze in Self-Care Activities During A Busy Week

60+ Thoughtful Ways to Take Care of Yourself

Self Love Exercises